RIP Bear 1953-2021 (photograph Tyee Marina, Tacoma Washington, 1983 or 1984)
Yet another Man’s Aspiration, a shorter essay about Bear I wrote back again in 2001
My normal activities and considered styles had been joyously disrupted today by a letter that appeared in my mailbox. I understood right away from the randomness of the coffee stains, the distinctiveness of the handwriting, the 3 distinct pens that tried to purpose but ended up pronounced useless from abuse, and the Australian submit mark, it was from my pal Bear. He had attained a further port of connect with in his special sailing journey around this planet.
My wife and I invested our to start with 11 decades together dwelling aboard a modest wood schooner. We were being attempting to make a lifestyle for ourselves, steering clear of some of society’s pressures though preserving a amount of adventure the two of us longed for. For the duration of this time I had the superior fortune to meet Bear, a particular person so exceptional, I promptly arrived to the summary I was meeting a one particular of a variety specific. At very first look, without having observing the depth of the man within, any man or woman could be effortlessly rushed to judgment by Bear’s outward appearance. Hunting previous his unkempt exterior, nevertheless, one immediately sees a lot of fantastic traits. He is not judgmental of persons, supplying each individual person the benefit of the doubt no subject what predicament he could uncover them in. He is able to giggle at himself and this globe in situations where by others would be brought to tears. He possesses a buoyancy that floats him over life’s destructive times when other persons would be sinking fast.
Late 1 summer time night while walking as a result of our marina parking great deal, adrift in the unconsciousness of my possess everyday regime, my very first meeting with Bear would occur as a shock, adopted by curiosity, and eventually friendship. With towel and cleaning soap in hand and approximately to the shower, I was abruptly startled by loud grunts emanating from a dilapidated station wagon off to my side. Spinning to my left I saw the motor vehicle rocking from aspect to aspect as a huge, furry gentleman emerged from his sleeping quarters in the again of the wagon. The passage of time has clouded my memory of our actual opening phrases, but several other details keep on being vivid and crystal clear. Bear and his pet dog Poopsy had been residing in the motor vehicle right until they could snooze onboard the boat he experienced just lately bought. Even nevertheless the boat’s inside was torn apart and lacked floorboards and a berth in which to slumber, Bear had nevertheless tried out sleeping in the chilly dampness of the bilge. This arrangement proved to be as well uncomfortable, so the parking large amount experienced turn out to be their selected residence. On the lookout previous him and into his car or truck, I noticed that it was loaded to the place of overflowing with what seemed like junk to my biased eyes. Bear experienced just emerged from his den, a hole dug into his belongings, tailor created for an exacting match. His mattress consisted of two gigantic bags of pet food items that have been surrounded by the continues to be of three dismantled chain saws. Valuable belongings to be positive, but not what most people would take into account typical mattress associates. Acquainted smells of the logging business drifted from his route, Bear’s cologne for the month. He stated he had just gotten by way of planting trees amidst the destruction of Mt. Saint Helens. He had the appear of remaining in the blast zone himself. Understanding instantly I experienced never ever achieved a gentleman like Bear just before, I felt like fleeing, but the friendliness of his eyes, and the snicker that is his trademark, stuffed the emptiness of the parking ton and held me engaged. Through this initially assembly I wondered if he was dealt a entire deck. Now virtually 20 a long time afterwards I am pondering if it is not me who is lacking a several fantastic playing cards.
Bear quickly became a welcomed member of our near local community of pals residing aboard their boats. These boats various from our very own compact vintage schooner to big expensive yachts. The men and women ranged from design personnel to medical professionals, spanning intercontinental boundaries. It was a really various team with Bear occupying a market all to himself on the considerably conclusion of a spectrum.
He solidified his posture on this spectrum the day he took an ax to his boat, getting rid of its cabin and deck on finding that rot experienced invaded its structure. It would have been a extremely unhappy second for anyone who had just discovered decay in their goals. He lamented extremely minor around getting rid of his shelter and acquiring to spend his meager financial savings rebuilding. Simply because I had turn into a fantastic good friend, I was invited to witness and photograph the removing of the boat’s topsides. This scene is etched in my brain without end: Bear straddling the leading of his beloved vessel, his again-lit silhouette towards the blue sky and bay, ax swinging, delivering repeated lethal blows to his home. At the very same time that wood chips and sweat have been traveling in all instructions, Bear was verbally questioning his have sanity and thinking regardless of whether he was executing the suitable detail. In two several hours what experienced not floated absent with the tidal present-day was lying in modest chunks in the bottom of the hull. Passing boaters will have to have considered they had been witnessing a madman in motion. None of our team could imagine what Bear experienced finished this time even nevertheless we experienced all developed accustomed to Bear’s exceptional perception of model. For Bear this boat bashing experienced been a daring statement, rebelling against his possess weak point of procrastination. Even however his foreseeable future remained unsure, Bear experienced created certain there was no uncomplicated path again to exactly where he experienced just been.
Rebuilding a boat is a huge task for a qualified shipwright. For Bear, possessing no woodworking abilities and confined money, it was a monumental endeavor. We all puzzled if he would ever comprehensive the endeavor. I tried using placing myself in his shoes and uncovered the scenario mind-boggling and deeply depressing. We all anxious what form of toll this would just take on our close friend. None of us truly recognized how sturdy willed and decided he was. The drama lay in the actuality that Bear was however in the really genuine approach of acquiring out for himself. Lots of of us imagined there was a great prospect that the Saint Jude (named for the patron saint of missing will cause) would by no means see open h2o again. Handful of noticed any fantastic purpose for rebuilding the boat in the very first area. Why not let it die like all picket boats eventually do? It would before long grow to be just one more memory like the a lot of thirty-five greenback cars Bear had deserted in mates back yards up and down the coastline.
For in excess of a 12 months Bear toiled with his dream. He expressed the notion that he not only wished to make the boat livable, but also solid enough for achievable ocean vacation. How he taken care of a constructive attitude we will in no way know as we watched him every working day covered with glue, sweat, and fiberglass dust. Even when Bear was cleaned up, he was included with gook. Rebuilding proved to be grueling perform. He shed his marginally paying out position as the marina night security guard, by way of no fault of his very own. Marina politics. By way of adversity Bear would quickly have a new motto to dwell by. My spouse made a card which involved a photograph and quote from Bear’s mentor, Tristan Jones, a entire world renowned one-handed sailor who continually selected experience over creature consolation. The card was posted overlooking what Bear would simply call “the destruction zone”. It read, “When in risk, when in doubt, hoist the sail and bugger on out”. For Bear, words and phrases to stay by, and terms he took to coronary heart. You should not allow the pressures of society pull you down. In a lifetime-threatening storm, rely on your inner wisdom and your boat. Security lies in the open up ocean, not in the vicinity of the shallows where most people today reside and come across ease and comfort. Steer your have class, mate!
Part way as a result of the rebuilding of Saint Jude, our liveaboard local community shed an inspirational young member to a cancerous brain tumor. Clance experienced set up an wonderful battle for his lifestyle. He impressed everybody near to him by carrying out extra in his final yr than most of us will in our lifetime. He expended minimal time asking “why me,” alternatively focusing on creating goals occur accurate. In the midst of his struggle with cancer, Clance went off to Nashville and recorded his initial music album. Recovering from a next key brain tumor procedure, he established off for Australia to see the outback and its people. He bought a modest oceangoing sailboat and began building strategies to sail all-around the globe when he recovered. Looking at Clance, the way he danced about the outdoors edges of his life, I realized without having a doubt he had all the required skills to sail throughout any ocean. All he wanted was a reasonable length of life. Clance by no means acquired his probability. Even with his very positive mind-set preventing most cancers, he lost the battle, by no means having the chance to satisfy his dream of sailing across an ocean.
Bear and Clance had become shut close friends via all of this, their distinctive personalities assembly on a degree the depth of which couple of of us could genuinely take pleasure in or comprehend. Immediately after Clance’s loss of life, Bear commented to me that he was heading to finish Clance’s desire in memory of an individual who experienced provided all of us a gift of fresh point of view and joyous outlook on our cherished lives. I understood that Bear was incredibly critical in his remark and not to be taken lightly. Bear’s difficulty was that his seafaring abilities had been non existent and he possessed a boat which most persons would not have confidence in their lives to. From outward appearances, not a incredibly possible applicant for a worldwide experience — superior remaining for adult men and females with enormous egos and income to burn on the most recent ocean heading vessels. Any detractors Bear may well have experienced at this time, he was about to establish completely wrong and out of touch with the truth he was dwelling in.
Upon the completion of the new Saint Jude, the initial check was sailing her down the Washington-Oregon Coastline to her new residence in Berkeley, California. In Oct, this is a really critical experience for even seasoned sailors in properly-tuned boats. Couple would do it one handed, and I know of only 1 who would do it in the Saint Jude, that man or woman staying Bear. He accomplished his excursion down the coast, an journey that could fill an full reserve. Issues arose on the journey that would have brought about most persons to flounder, but not Bear. Adversity had develop into Bear’s mate and continual companion, letting him to functionality 1 dilemma at a time, as if chaos were being just a usual truth of daily lifestyle. Jokingly, he mentioned his principal difficulty arose even though generating his lifetime-sustaining coffee throughout the regular gales. His Coleman stove saved flopping about, threatening to catch his boat on fireplace even though boiling espresso sloshed onto his arms.
I will never ever fail to remember the working day Bear and I were being working at the marina refinishing a boat jointly not extended just after his coastal trip. Due to the fact Bear had worked at the Marina as a protection guard, most of the patrons knew him. Several understood him pretty nicely, nevertheless, and I would not wait to say several of them appeared down on him. They had been not ready to see past the filthy clothes, dented rusty vehicle, and a boat that looked like quite a few that the marina personnel were being continually in the course of action of striving to refloat after sinking to the base from neglect. They had been unable to see previous his tough exterior to a individual whose mom and dad had been equally school professors and had elevated a faculty educated son with an imaginative brain. Most only noticed a person heading nowhere, incapable of creating the essential funds required for dwelling the good everyday living. On this specific working day all the “sailors” had been returning in their boats from a massive race out on the bay. A pair of them had seen that Bear had been absent for a good although and requested in which he had been. Upon listening to that he experienced sailed his boat down the coastline with no motor, and in Oct, I could virtually see their mouths fall open up in disbelief. I saw egos having massive hits as it swiftly dawned on them that this specific, whom they thought they experienced towered above, had crushed them to the punch. Bear had completed a feat they had been not able to attain, even with their expensive, extra than capable boats. It takes a unique man or woman who can confront the inner demons that turn out to be evident during any ocean passage couple have the talent or wish to confront these demons alone. Of all those who do, Bear is fairly one of a kind in that he is extremely considerably a people-oriented particular person.
Bear spent the future couple winters living in his residence town of Berkeley, California. All through the relaxation of the 12 months he gained information as a sailor performing on a lot of fish tenders in Alaska. Alaska and the characters it attracts had been suitable up Bear’s kaleidoscopic alley. He is quickly bored with “standard” people today and is drawn to the extreme. He could fill a ebook with stories just from all the crazy persons with whom he has conferred at laundromats and libraries. I believe that Bear has logged much more time speaking to schizophrenics than most psychiatrists and almost certainly has a greater knowledge of them, also. I know he shares much more in popular his desires attest to that. Goals which tenaciously survived by prolonged bouts with actuality now commenced to flicker back to lifetime, fueled by self-self confidence attained through practical experience at sea, and a distant voice which would not die away. Just as interplanetary gases coalesce to form stars and planets, Bear’s dreams were consolidating into a actual concrete type.
A few of years ago Bear decided that prior to he himself went in excess of the edge, it was “now or never ever,” relating to his desire to sail the South Pacific. With Clance as Bear’s guiding mild, Bear set sail on a journey that has taken him by the Marquesas Islands, Fuji, and now to his latest desired destination, Australia. He has visited lots of distant islands, entertaining the Indigenous individuals, I am guaranteed, as considerably as they have entertained him. In several strategies Bear is a throw-back again to before moments in advance of modern sailing vessels and sophisticated sailors turned the norm. Bear is the form of man or woman children nevertheless flock driving when strolling the streets in these distant islands. He is the type of individual these persons admire for the reason that he has carried out so significantly with so very little. He is also the variety of person able of acquiring friendships so deep that he would dedicate a significant portion of his very own everyday living to honoring another man’s dream. In some inexplicable way, Bear has taken all his near mates on his journey. I for a person would like to thank him for that.
Linked online video clip I put alongside one another in memory of our good friend Clance from the tale higher than www.youtube.com/observe?v=2KP7Nykewxw
Posted by tellytomtelly on 2021-12-28 04:42:12
Tagged: , Bear , Tyee Marina , Tacoma , Washington , St. Jude , Saint Jude , sailboat , boat , Stephen Gieber , Bristol Bay fishing boat , Bristol Bay , fishing boat , Thomas Gotchy , Clance , Clance Carrigan
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